Today, May 6th, 2007, is my wife’s, Bobbie, and my 35th wedding anniversary. Over that period of time, Bobbie has taught me how to love — how to love her, how to love myself, how to love humankind. She’s that kind of person. It’s been a long haul — for her — but I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. I think about the power of love a lot when I’m around her, especially on significant days such as today.
But that’s not the only reason I’ve been meditating on love. If you’re lucky enough to live in the Sag Hampton area, you get to read a pretty good local newspaper, The Sag Harbor Express, that occasionally has moments of brilliance. Such a moment occurred in the issue of May 3rd, in which two op-ed pieces were published that raised the level of discourse in our village to a level rarely seen in a local weekly, and they got me thinking about love, too.
The first article by Robbie Vorhaus, a CNN correspondent and communications consultant, is entitled The Sag Harbor Effect: One Less, One More. In this essay, Vorhaus starts by positing that no one he knows isn’t stressed. He then goes on to offer a simple prescription for a new movement which he hopes will sweep the world, relaxing the world’s six billion or so inhabitants. He suggests that we can start it right here in Sag Harbor, because…well, why not? On that basis he named it the Sag Harbor Effect. However, the real genius in his idea, and the part that got me thinking deeply about love, is in the details of his plan enumerated below:
- Choose to live in faith and the perfection of this moment.
- Choose to believe we are all connected; better than nobody, nobody better.
- Choose to smile.
- Choose to consciously have positive thoughts and feel better.
- Choose to focus on the gifts and blessings you have.
- No blame.
- Forgive, and forgive yourself, too.
Finally, Vorhaus offers an easy entree to implementing these changes. Choose one negative thing you do, and do one less of it. Also, choose one positive thing you want to do, and do one more of it.
I believe what Vorhaus suggests is simply putting love first in your life — love for yourself, love for the world (as it is), and love for your fellow beings. Read the synopsis of his essay above again, and see if you don’t come to the same conclusion.
The second op-ed piece, by Richard Gambino, a professor emeritus at Queens College, is called Murder and Malice at Virginia Tech. It’s a bit more of a stretch to assert that Gambino is writing about love, and yet…
What he actually says is that bad things happen, and that we must have great courage to go on living our daily lives while acknowledging that we have little or no control over these things. People do very bad things and when they do “they’ve committed a kind of odious treason against our humanity. And living with this takes the most courage of all.”
He also expresses sympathy with the existential viewpoint that each of us is defined by what we in fact think, feel and do (see Vorhaus, above), and concludes with a statement of faith by saying:
“So I tell myself to have courage, and I help my courage by everything from looking into the eyes of caring people to turning on a CD in my car of Beethoven’s Leonre Overture #3, wonderful things that help put human malice in perspective.
“Consciousness is at once a great gift and a terrible burden. To give up the gift to avoid the burden is to give in to fear and stifle one’s own life.”
Again, maybe because of my own predisposition, I see this statement as a reaffirmation in the power of love to sustain us. Especially, its power to overcome its own antithesis: fear.
These two thoughtful and caring messages are strong testaments to humanity’s better instincts and to our ability to heal ourselves and others through love. How amazing that they appear one above the other in our small-town weekly newspaper. Sag Hampton is indeed a special place. Be glad you live here. Be very glad.
Oh, and by the way, spread the Sag Harbor Effect. Start today…I know my wife will, and following her excellent example, I will too.
(You can read both articles mentioned above in their entirety at Sagharboronline.com.)
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Currently listening to: When I Was a Boy
Happy Anniversary!
I love you & your wife.
Dear Mr. Cohen: I am Robbie Vorhaus and I am grateful for your post. One less, one more came to me in spirit (inspiration) in the belief that if everyone did one less negative thing, and one more positive thing a day, we could literally start a movement here in Sag Harbor that could contribute to a personal feeling of peace and well being across the globe. I travel often to extraordinary places, and find that no matter how far you go, people are touched by a smile, a hug, and a blessing of peace, all of which I send you today. One less, one more.
My husband and I love you too. = )
Ditto
Call me Eric. Mr. Cohen’s way too formal for Sag Hampton. I’m thrilled that you liked the post, ’cause, as you can tell, I was very moved by your article in the paper. Your ideas on how to de-stress are a perfect fit for the changes I am trying to bring about in my own life. In my case, though, I’m trying to grow spiritually, and be a more open and loving person. Stress is actually not that big an issue for me, although I know it is for most people. In any case, consider me a recruit for the Sag Harbor Effect Movement. I’ll try to do one less and one more everyday.
I too was very moved by Robbie Vorhaus’s article and am sold on the concept of the Sag Harbor Effect. I actually had the opportunity to do one more and one less very early in the day. This is going to be very meaningful; I hope it catches on.
While you had some lovely things to say about me, and I appreciate them, I feel you don’t do yourself justice. You were already pretty wonderful when we met! OK, enough of that for now.
Big Congratulations! WOW! 35 years is AMAZING!
(If you don’t mind)?
I LOVE this post… I love the articles… I love the message!
Thank you so much for this… I’m starting the “one less, one more” idea today and so the “Sag Harbor Effect” has moved right down the coast to Virginia!
I’m going to share your post on my blogs…
Thanks a bunch Eric… excellent thoughts!
Warmest wishes,
jennifer
Thanks for your comment. Feel free to use the post any way you see fit. I was confident that you would see the value in Robbie Vorhaus’ idea, and hoping that you would help move the Sag Harbor Effect along through your blog. Thanks again.
Wow, I am thrilled that the energy, the Spirit that moved through my fingers on to the computer, found it’s way to your wonderful blog. I once asked Mr. Halsey if the orchard we were in was his. He answered softly, “No, this is God’s orchard. I’m just the lucky guy he picked to farm it.” Keep up the good work and thank you for the inspiration and feedback. One less, one more.
forgive me, i am the author of the above post. robbie vorhaus